a. a iced latte.
b. a hot PA called chad who is stupid but works out all the time and follows my strict 'underwear to work' friday dress code.
c. my own 'reality' tv show where an MTV crew follows me round as i go on a raid of all the starbucks in the area. selfish bastards who shuts at 7 on a SATURDAY. 24 hours is not a fictional timezone, follow it!
yes i'm a bit cranky. just wired laptop up so could watch jersey shore in the bath, but became convinced it would sprout wings, fly from the toilet and into the bath, electrocuting both me and prescilla the blackberry, who i secured in a lunchbox so she could float beside me in the murky waters. anyways, although i enjoyed the shore greatly, especially the antics of my idols snooki and jwoww (see below) , all i could think about was coffee. COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE. ARRGHHHHHH!
twitching, i lay in bed awake last night, having been by tricked my brain into having a late PM espresso i began to think about G. G is my other drug of choice. He pops up occasionally in real life, usually drunk, usually dressed in some god awful outfit, but i literally cannot kick him. so, there i am, very much conscious, pondering the possibility of a new player in the QUINN life story, when something begins to howl near my room. i'm frozen stiff, a caffeine riddled mess, convinced i am indeed entering a true version of the human centipede, my body about to be harvested for evil science. a cold sweat breaks out. finally, a single, muffled sentence breaks the darkness. 'its not going in my bum!'..........BRILLIANT! so i thought f- it, if those lucky bastards can have their fun, i'm having mine! the skinny mocha went down wonderfully, and i slept for a religious 2 hours. x
jwoww l, snooki r.
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