blimey.

first day off from hades today, but spent its entirety a hungover mess largely due to my former best friend Samuel Buca.

last night began as they always do. 'ok i'll come to the pub, but i'm only having one...'

i woke this morning in my underwear, trapped beneath the duvet, blood flowing from my knee, and guinea pig number 2 cowering behind a studded cushion from BHS. Lord.

for most of the night, my memory fails me to be honest, although vague recollections keep popping up of me stroking a mean man's beard and thinking 'i have a strong desire to kiss you'...a nagging thought suggests i may also have vocalised this. R informs me i was once again 'that drunk girl who cries at everything', which was no doubt a treat combined with my parading around the area in pyjamas, wishing i'd been more intelligent and just brought the waterproof mascara. on the walk home, lying in the road seemed a logical activity.

all of these events have convinced me of one clear truth. drinking games are the devils work.

so today has been FUN. i can only really compare it to that film Alien, with the scene where the critter breaks out of the dude's stomach. if you haven't seen that movie you need to its good. now my hungover state is not that bad, my eyes get bloodshot but other than that its ok, but mothers with children seem to sense i'm a beacon of sin because in town today, everytime i walked near one of these annoying units, mommy dearest would shield her offspring as though protecting a  young virgin against an aids carrying crack whore.

also, the place was crawling from japanese tourists, and saying konichiwa to them is now apparently discriminating. so i had become a racist prostitute in the space of an hour. great.

I have to sleep now, i can barely stand. x

p.s. if you or anyone you know can tell me who gave me the bite mark on my lower back, it would be much appreciated.