anxiety over the future is KILLING me. had bit of a meltdown in hades, which was not helped by this crazy woman basically threatening me. because i would not give her a refund on a £20 cardigan. SERIOUSLY. anyway, forget about that, in my distress, i made THE LIST.
1. get some form of writing internship/employment. i have one year left at uni, and then hello future. except i'm not ready for it. i want to carry on watching tv all day in my underwear (leopard ones so i'm still close to my beloved print), and eating ice cream for every meal. D, who was a fellow slave to hades, came in today, having escaped over a month ago, with an assistant editor job, mortgage and probably 20.5 kids en route. i had to have a sly sit down as i felt faint. so yeah. i need to be akin to the timid pet hamster mother hoovered up when i was small, and get on the ball.
2. somehow turn my body into kim kardashian's. route a- diet, exercise and commitment. route b- find a rich man, get him drunk enough to agree to pay for heavy liposuction and possible face reconstruction. route c- permanently sellotape a picture of the afore mentioned fitty's body to my own torso. atm, i'm quite keen on the latter option, although i'm sure it would result in a spell back in the strait jacket, and man it is hard to scratch your nose with arms srapped behind the back.
3. get a dog, or dogs. this is a bit of a fantasy request, but i was crazed by the screaming customers and lack of coffee (one day clean, feeling strong! thats a lie i'd murder my mother for a latte). the first would be a pug, named mimi la-rochelle. the second, a pomeranian, zsar zsar l'amour.
4. find love. easier said than done, although i am in a monogamous relationship with American Express.
until i cross at least one of these aims off on THE LIST i am hereby banned from drinking alcohol. no strawberry and lime koppaberg. no tequilla. no turpentine....what do you mean you don't drink turpentine? lovely with a soda mix x
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