i have : watched three episodes of vintage buffy, drunk a pint of smart price lemonade AKA toilet cleaner, left a rotund booty imprint on the cut price ikea mound moonlighting as a sofa, bid (but lost) on a vivvy westwood tit top and fallen asleep mid telephone convo with the mother-ship.
i have not : packed, eaten anything without additives or regained some minute, gravy-bone shred of dignity.
SLOW NIGHT, SO LONG.
i've been thinking, and the solution to all these rib frissures would be a butler. first name gerrard. meow.
my fellow ginger copine went africa over summer (gap yah!) and i can't talk to her about it without replicating leo dicap's rubbish blood diamond accent. sewth uhfrika?! so i'm guessing thats why she crossed the street earlier and faked a convo with ted the homeless busker. ho-bag.
halloween tomorrow, my FAVE time of year but i've technically already celebrated and am travelling home after work. went out on weds in ghostly adornment, complete with lace tights which i put my finger through multiple times and so went from casper to christina circa DIIRRRTTYYY. nice.
still enjoying sleigh bells way too much, thinking of a tattoo capturing their faces to cover my shakespeare's sister ink.
anyways best go be productive, make my mother proud etc x
Thursday
wltm
my lonely hearts ad doesn't seem to be generating much interest..... wouldn't u respond to this : 'over-emotional, alcoholic ,alright looking girl seeks man of classic hollywood style looks. must be rich, highly generous, 6ft 4, cage fighter, smell good, like marmite, be selfless in bed, able to apply spray tan and attach hair extensions as well as being an animal lover, part time superhero, trained masseuse, plumber, builder, electrician, underwear model, excellent at poker and trained in cocktail making.
candidate should preferably drive brand new black range rover sport although mercedes owners welcome to apply. please note, if your last suit cost under £3000, skip to Busty Brenda from Wrexham.
i think they'll be banging on my door asap. x
candidate should preferably drive brand new black range rover sport although mercedes owners welcome to apply. please note, if your last suit cost under £3000, skip to Busty Brenda from Wrexham.
i think they'll be banging on my door asap. x
Tuesday
gristle and bone
so once again sorry for never blogging enough, although in my defence i did start this in the summer when i had alot of free time and lack of deadlines at my disposal. saying that, i went out last night...didn't drink (much) though so hangover free today praise the baby jesus. regular readers will know my hangovers are similar to being hit centre chest by a freight train. plus, i spew easily. needless to say, i do try to sidestep that barrel of FUN.
my last post was dramatically ambiguous, and i'm going to keep it that way. i'm not trying to create an illusion that i'm a vital cog of some exciting circus (the most thrilling task i partake in now is moisturising) and i do divulge most of the gore, but that particular detail will remain cloudy. its too hard to talk about so its best laid to rest in the shallow grave destined for my friend.
RIGHT. shizer day, raining AGAIN (don't know why we're ever surprised by this guaranteed constant). therefore, in the spirit of autumn showers and the student lifestyle, i've bunked off shorthand to penn this blog, which seems even more pointless everytime i look over what i've wrote. i am posting some fashion guff in a bit, but if any potential employers ever read this as a writing reference, the vacancy would defo go to sarah, laura or any other blah blahs competing against my low experience and acerbic wit. SIGH.
gutted missed Warpaint in Liverpool on Sat. They were playing at the kazimier which is a GREAT gig venue, very organic, it could easily be located in New York's East Side as opposed to Merseyside. such a good band, at odds with everything currently being spat out of LA. going to see Lissie in dec tho, i enjoy light country; the music of big hair and pain. amen Patsy Cline.
still on the same page regarding men. FUCK OFF tends to be the response for any half-witted scally who mistakes my cut-glass stare for heated desire (because nothing says i want you like a restraining order). i dunno...it all just seems weak and unfulfilled, whats the point?
i'm going home on sunday to see the family, feel a bit guilty having become the prodigal daughter recently. being the only one, my absence echoes, and having avoided my murky roots for roughly 5ish months, my mother made a request to see my face asap. it won't be too bad, its just no one ever really leaves nuneaton, and returning fills me with total fear that i'll become one of the faceless buggy-pusher tribe, distinguished by their screaming spawn and scraggy high pony-tails. Chester wasn't my first choice for uni, glasgow recieved that pleasure, but as with life, it didn't work out. the only reason i planned to go to such extreme lengths to achieve distance was because i was running away from my own version of hell, located east of birmingham. hmmm.
in other news, didn't realise i owned so many pairs of see through leggings. joy. also, i've never learnt to rollerskate, blame being a fat child, so i have decided i 10000% need to learn because its a life skill. i could be a rollerskating superhero, swooping through automatic doors to help those with a shoelace or flappy hem entangled amongst the machinery of a rogue escalator DON'T LAUGH BECAUSE THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN SPAIN. scary 2 minutes of my life.
having a halloween themed event 2moro nite so should go into town to source some genre of apparel. was thinking i might just go as a battered sausage by wearing a too tight dress and rolling in ronseal. YUMMY. in a bit kids x
P.S. CHECK OUT THE BRILLIANT SONG ELEPHANTS BY WARPAINT AT BOTTOM OF MY PAGE <3
my last post was dramatically ambiguous, and i'm going to keep it that way. i'm not trying to create an illusion that i'm a vital cog of some exciting circus (the most thrilling task i partake in now is moisturising) and i do divulge most of the gore, but that particular detail will remain cloudy. its too hard to talk about so its best laid to rest in the shallow grave destined for my friend.
RIGHT. shizer day, raining AGAIN (don't know why we're ever surprised by this guaranteed constant). therefore, in the spirit of autumn showers and the student lifestyle, i've bunked off shorthand to penn this blog, which seems even more pointless everytime i look over what i've wrote. i am posting some fashion guff in a bit, but if any potential employers ever read this as a writing reference, the vacancy would defo go to sarah, laura or any other blah blahs competing against my low experience and acerbic wit. SIGH.
gutted missed Warpaint in Liverpool on Sat. They were playing at the kazimier which is a GREAT gig venue, very organic, it could easily be located in New York's East Side as opposed to Merseyside. such a good band, at odds with everything currently being spat out of LA. going to see Lissie in dec tho, i enjoy light country; the music of big hair and pain. amen Patsy Cline.
still on the same page regarding men. FUCK OFF tends to be the response for any half-witted scally who mistakes my cut-glass stare for heated desire (because nothing says i want you like a restraining order). i dunno...it all just seems weak and unfulfilled, whats the point?
i'm going home on sunday to see the family, feel a bit guilty having become the prodigal daughter recently. being the only one, my absence echoes, and having avoided my murky roots for roughly 5ish months, my mother made a request to see my face asap. it won't be too bad, its just no one ever really leaves nuneaton, and returning fills me with total fear that i'll become one of the faceless buggy-pusher tribe, distinguished by their screaming spawn and scraggy high pony-tails. Chester wasn't my first choice for uni, glasgow recieved that pleasure, but as with life, it didn't work out. the only reason i planned to go to such extreme lengths to achieve distance was because i was running away from my own version of hell, located east of birmingham. hmmm.
in other news, didn't realise i owned so many pairs of see through leggings. joy. also, i've never learnt to rollerskate, blame being a fat child, so i have decided i 10000% need to learn because its a life skill. i could be a rollerskating superhero, swooping through automatic doors to help those with a shoelace or flappy hem entangled amongst the machinery of a rogue escalator DON'T LAUGH BECAUSE THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN SPAIN. scary 2 minutes of my life.
having a halloween themed event 2moro nite so should go into town to source some genre of apparel. was thinking i might just go as a battered sausage by wearing a too tight dress and rolling in ronseal. YUMMY. in a bit kids x
P.S. CHECK OUT THE BRILLIANT SONG ELEPHANTS BY WARPAINT AT BOTTOM OF MY PAGE <3
Saturday
ouch
crazy time of the night/day to be blogging apologies, but i'm a bit distressed. saw an old friend tonight and i can only really describe him as a mess. drugs have robbed the world of a great talent. i dunno if its love or just concern but i miss u, come back to me. x
Wednesday
A WORD OF WARNING
DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT MAKE FRIENDS. BECAUSE THEY'LL BORROW YOUR STUFF, HARRASS YOU AND LEAVE YOU WITH MORE SNOT IN YOUR HEAD THAN THE AVERAGE HOUSE SLUG. i am infected. clammy sweat oozes from every pore, a tireless parade of snot swirls like a witches brew between my temples and i can't stop eating. life is AWFUL.
internship alot better today though, tomorrow i become a bonafide published journalist. however, for now, i'm lounging in my pit of grotesque shame, an oversized disney pyjama set only further contributing to the disgrace. THE MIGHTY HAS INDEED FALLEN. x
p.s. still no freddie. i feel as solitary and lonesome as Hardy follow the demise of his beloved emma. my next step shall be wandering rocky coastal paths, chasing only the ghost of poor freddie's large rump. sob.
internship alot better today though, tomorrow i become a bonafide published journalist. however, for now, i'm lounging in my pit of grotesque shame, an oversized disney pyjama set only further contributing to the disgrace. THE MIGHTY HAS INDEED FALLEN. x
p.s. still no freddie. i feel as solitary and lonesome as Hardy follow the demise of his beloved emma. my next step shall be wandering rocky coastal paths, chasing only the ghost of poor freddie's large rump. sob.
Monday
does anyone...
want to just go and have an adventure? uni is back in full swing, and once again i have itchy feet or whatever the saying is. i doubt it's itchy, maybe restless?
anyways i have £200 in the account, an unused passport and a DIVINE betsey johnson holdall which is dying to be used for a fabulous excursion. so ideas? the cheapest i can get to ny is £394, and whilst i would clobber my own mother over the head with a cut price past season manolo wedge to go, its not likely atm, funds wise an all. i'd do the flight of the conchords tour though, and pick up a copy padded gilet similar to brett's. possibly get a golf sign job too. i've just remembered the lotr inspired video they do in season 2. AMAZING.
paris? i am having a french revival after watching the double decker season finale of satc with the russian and BIG comes to rescue the versace clad damsel. (that dress cost $79,000 fact fans).
i'm feeling ROMA...possibly meet my italian and end my coin throwing days. URGHHH I WANT SOME EXCITEMENT!!!!
started my internship at newspaper last weds...it has not served the purpose i'd hoped tbh. instead of feeling reassured that i'm doing the right thing blah blah i was left bored and fatigued by the toll of local media. media in general. i don't want to write about industrial changes in the north west commercial sector, but spend days languorously splayed upon an oversized chaise longue, eating truffles in a cashmere robe and penning the occasional column entitled 'HOW TO BE FABULOUS' whilst my faithful assistant Chad massages my feet. is that too much to ask?! x
p.s. next door have a fat white persian cat that enjoyed escaping the confines of concrete and rolling in fresh soil. i named him freddie, but i fear the tyrant owners, tired of his mischief, have sold him on ebay. i had planned to steal him and conduct events where he'd be decked out in regal attire. YES I MEAN DRESSING HIM UP. i miss u freddie. please come home.
anyways i have £200 in the account, an unused passport and a DIVINE betsey johnson holdall which is dying to be used for a fabulous excursion. so ideas? the cheapest i can get to ny is £394, and whilst i would clobber my own mother over the head with a cut price past season manolo wedge to go, its not likely atm, funds wise an all. i'd do the flight of the conchords tour though, and pick up a copy padded gilet similar to brett's. possibly get a golf sign job too. i've just remembered the lotr inspired video they do in season 2. AMAZING.
paris? i am having a french revival after watching the double decker season finale of satc with the russian and BIG comes to rescue the versace clad damsel. (that dress cost $79,000 fact fans).
i'm feeling ROMA...possibly meet my italian and end my coin throwing days. URGHHH I WANT SOME EXCITEMENT!!!!
started my internship at newspaper last weds...it has not served the purpose i'd hoped tbh. instead of feeling reassured that i'm doing the right thing blah blah i was left bored and fatigued by the toll of local media. media in general. i don't want to write about industrial changes in the north west commercial sector, but spend days languorously splayed upon an oversized chaise longue, eating truffles in a cashmere robe and penning the occasional column entitled 'HOW TO BE FABULOUS' whilst my faithful assistant Chad massages my feet. is that too much to ask?! x
p.s. next door have a fat white persian cat that enjoyed escaping the confines of concrete and rolling in fresh soil. i named him freddie, but i fear the tyrant owners, tired of his mischief, have sold him on ebay. i had planned to steal him and conduct events where he'd be decked out in regal attire. YES I MEAN DRESSING HIM UP. i miss u freddie. please come home.
Friday
my heart is fond.
yeah so sorry for the lack of love, it was mostly because i was sick of talking about myself tbh (shocking, i know! i mean i am a modern day icon duh) but to prove my adoration to you all and my intense joy from talking shizer, i scrawl this in a guilt filled rush as i'm supposed to be writing some blah blah in journo class....i could eat a badger i'm so hungry!! quinn fans come save me from the prison that is university!! or get one those buckets on a rope and smuggle me in a pasty. after all i've done for you, its the bare minimum return bitches.
I'm with K, and i must say she looks rather fuggo today. x
I'm with K, and i must say she looks rather fuggo today. x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)